“And cooperate in righteousness and piety.” (Quran 5:2)
The mums come through their children’s madrasahs. A madrasah here means the after-school or weekend classes that most mosques run. The charity reaches out to several of them, briefs their leaders, and asks each to nominate a group of mums and some reserves. This section shows you how to do that well.
Why madrasahs
A madrasah already holds the trust of its families. Its leaders know the mums, and the mums know each other from the school gate and the parents’ evening.
That matters for three reasons:
- Trust. A mum is far more likely to say yes when someone she knows asks her.
- Reach. The women you want are rarely seen at charity events, but they are in touch with the madrasah every week.
- Belonging. Ten mums from one madrasah arrive as a team, with friendships already in place.
Choosing which madrasahs to approach
Aim for three to five madrasahs. A group of ten mums from each gives you thirty to fifty women, which is the size the logistics are built around.
Look for madrasahs that:
- are within reasonable reach of the overnight venue and the minibus route;
- have an engaged head teacher and committee;
- have staff who can speak confidently to the mums, ideally women;
- come from different mosques or communities, so the groups are varied;
- you already know, or that a trusted contact can introduce.
Approach one or two more than you need. Some will decline or run out of time, and a spare keeps the plan safe.
Give it enough time
Start early. The whole process takes three to four months, and the mums need time to train. The table shows a sensible order, counted back from the challenge.
| Stage | Roughly when | What happens |
|---|---|---|
| 1. First contact | 6 months before | A personal call or message to the madrasah head and the mosque committee |
| 2. Leaders’ briefing | 5 months before | A presentation and an information pack for the madrasah leaders |
| 3. Time to consider | 2 weeks after | Leaders talk to their committee and teachers, and the madrasah says yes or no |
| 4. Nominations | 4 months before | Each leader nominates ten mums and two or three reserves |
| 5. Mums’ information session | 3 months before | The charity meets the nominated mums and answers their questions |
| 6. Confirmation | 10 weeks before | Each mum decides, and returns her health and consent form |
Making first contact
The first approach should come from a named person at the charity, not from a general mailbox. A phone call or a visit works best, followed by a short message.
Speak to the madrasah head first, and ask who else should be involved. Mosque committees and imams often need to agree, and it shows respect to ask. Explain that you are asking the madrasah to lead a group of mums, and that you want their advice as well as their help.
Here is a message you can adapt:
Assalamu alaikum [Name],
I am [your name], [role] at [charity]. We are organising Tough Mother: zero to hero, a challenge for mums over one evening and one day, to raise funds for our work with refugees. We would like to invite [madrasah] to take part with a group of ten mums.
You know your families better than anyone. Could we have half an hour to explain the challenge and hear your thoughts? We would bring a short pack, and we are happy to come to you.
Jazakum Allahu khayran (may Allah reward you).
$$Name and contact details$$
The leaders’ briefing
Hold a short presentation for the madrasah leaders. Where you can, bring them together. Hearing the same briefing builds a sense of shared purpose, and leaders reassure one another.
Allow about 45 minutes and follow this running order:
- Welcome and dua. Five minutes, with introductions.
- Why we are doing this. Ten minutes on the charity’s work with refugees, with one real story.
- The challenge. Ten minutes on the night before and the day, with photographs or a short film if you have them.
- What we are asking. Five minutes on what it asks of the mums, and of the madrasah.
- How nominations work. Five minutes, ending with the deadline.
- Questions. Ten minutes or more. Never rush this.
If a past participant can speak for five minutes, invite her. A mum who has done it, and says it was hard and worth it, is more persuasive than any slide.
Be honest. Say plainly that the challenge is muddy, wet and tiring, that mums sleep on a floor. Show that the day is run by women, with trained guides and medical cover. Leaders will trust you more for it.
The information pack
Leave every leader with a short pack. It should be easy to read and easy to pass on. Include:
- A one-page summary with the dates, times and the challenge at a glance
- A guide for nominating, covering how many mums, who to look for and the deadline
- A plain-language leaflet for the mums, covering what to expect, what to wear and what to bring
- A summary of safety, safeguarding and insurance, including female staff and first aid
- A note on fundraising, saying what is asked and that nobody’s place depends on it
- Answers to the most common questions
- A nomination form and a named contact
Consider translating the mums’ leaflet into the main languages your communities speak. A mum who can read it easily is more likely to say yes with confidence.
Questions leaders will ask
Leaders will have questions. This table gives short, honest answers you can adapt.
| Question | A straightforward answer |
|---|---|
| Is it safe? | The charity has a risk assessment, trained guides, first aiders and insurance. Every mum can step out of any obstacle. |
| Is it women only? | Yes. The guides, instructors and drivers are women wherever possible. |
| Must the mums be fit? | No, but they must be willing. We provide an eight-week plan and group training sessions. |
| What will it cost the mums? | Nothing to take part. They are asked to raise sponsorship, but nobody’s place depends on it. |
| What about childcare? | The challenge needs a night away, so families need to plan early. We will give plenty of notice. |
| What does the madrasah need to do? | Nominate the mums, give the group a place to train, and help share the news. |
How leaders nominate
Ask each madrasah for ten mums and two or three reserves. A leader who knows her families chooses best, so give her clear guidance.
Ask leaders to:
- choose mums who are willing and able, and not only the keen walkers;
- speak to each mum personally before writing her name down;
- explain what the challenge involves, and let her say no;
- mix ages, backgrounds and circumstances in the group;
- think about each mum’s health and family commitments.
Teachers and committee members hold authority in a community. A mum may find it hard to refuse a teacher she respects. Ask leaders to make saying no easy, and to reassure any mum who declines that she has done nothing wrong.
The nomination form needs only a name, a phone number, the preferred language and the madrasah. Collect health details later, directly from the mum. Keep personal details secure, tell people how you will use them, and delete them when you no longer need them.
Reserves
Reserves are not second best. They are mums who are willing to step in, and who need the same briefing and training as everyone else.
Invite them to the information session and the training sessions. If a nominated mum drops out, a reserve takes her place with no scramble. Reserves who are not needed should still be thanked and invited to the celebration.
The mums’ information session
Once nominations are in, the charity meets the nominated mums. Hold it at the madrasah or on a video call, at a time that suits them. A woman from the charity leads it, ideally with a past participant.
Cover what the challenge is for, what the day involves, and what it asks of them. Show the at-a-glance table. Leave plenty of time for questions, because most mums will have them.
Give each mum a leaflet to take home, and one to share with her family. Some will want to talk to their husbands or relatives first. Offer to speak to the family as well, and give every mum at least two weeks to decide.
Keeping the madrasahs involved
Name one person at the charity as each madrasah’s contact. Check in every few weeks.
A madrasah leader makes a good local champion. Ask her to help with the training sessions, to share news in the madrasah’s own channels and to encourage the group. Invite the leaders to the celebration afterwards, and thank them publicly.
If a madrasah cannot fill its group
Sometimes a madrasah finds only six or seven willing mums. Do not press. A smaller group is fine, and two small groups can combine under one guide. Equally, a madrasah that cannot take part this time may join the next.
With the groups formed, you can turn to the practical choices of venue, date and travel.