5. Meal and reflection

“And they give food, in spite of love for it, to the needy, the orphan and the captive.” (Quran 76:8)

Halfway through, the group stops. They sit in their muddy clothes, receive a small, plain meal and listen. The mums pray Dhuhr together, exactly as they are. This part turns effort into understanding.

The aid-style meal

The mums sit on the ground in their muddy clothes. Each receives what an emergency relief agency might provide:

• a bottle of water;
• a bowl of rice;
• a piece of bread;
• a piece of fruit.

Nothing else is offered, and there is no choice. The meal is plain, but it is enough, and it is served with respect.

The mums know what is coming. But sitting in wet, muddy clothes with a small bowl of rice is real enough. Gratitude comes easily after a morning like this.

The point is contrast, not suffering. Tell the mums that this is how food is often given to people who have lost everything, and that it is rarely enough.

Safety note. Check every dietary need and allergy in advance. Clean hands with wipes before eating. Make sure the food is halal, and prepare it hygienically. Anyone who is cold, shaking or unwell is looked after first and given a warm drink and a foil blanket.

Dhuhr prayer

Dhuhr, the midday prayer, is prayed together. Work out the time beforehand.

Water will be scarce, so settle in advance how the mums will make wudu, the ritual washing before prayer. A guide can carry a small bottle, or explain tayammum, dry ablution, for anyone who prefers it.

Mud is generally considered clean for prayer, but check with your imam or scholar in advance. Bring a few clean mats or large bin bags to place on the wet ground.

Before the prayer, the lead guide might say a few quiet words:

“We’re tired, cold and covered in mud. In a moment, we will stand before Allah exactly as we are. No pretence. That is one of the most honest prayers any of us will ever make.”

After the prayer, before anyone rises, the guide speaks briefly. Many refugees describe their first prayer in a safe place as one of the most overwhelming of their lives. Not because the surroundings were good, but because they were finally still. Close with a short dua for those still on the road.

The charity’s talk

Next, a woman from the charity speaks for 15 to 20 minutes. The mums are tired and hungry, and the talk will land differently from last night’s. Keep it close and honest.

A good talk:

• shares real stories from the people the charity serves;
• shows what the charity’s work looks like on the ground;
• explains how the mums’ effort and their sponsors’ money will make a difference;
• offers ways the mums can keep helping after the day, such as volunteering or advocacy.

It is not a fundraising pitch. It is an invitation to walk further with the cause.

Sharing

Allow ten or fifteen minutes for the mums to talk. This can happen in the groups, with the guides leading. Ask how the experience is changing their view, and what stays with them.

Some mums will talk readily and others will stay silent. Either is fine. Invite, never press, and thank everyone who speaks.

Reflection questions

You might ask:

• What did the meal make you notice?
• What did you hear in the talk that you did not know?
• What does our community owe to people who have lost everything?

Rested and a little fed, the mums face the harder half.