This section explains who takes part, why the day matters, and how to tell whether now is the right time.
Who takes part
The day is for Year 10 girls, aged about 14, and their mums. Each girl comes with her mother or a close woman who cares for her.
It works best when:
- the girls already know each other from a madrasah or youth group;
- the mums are ready to take on a real challenge, at the standard each chooses;
- the group is small enough for leaders to know every pair by name.
Check the minimum and maximum numbers with your venue early. They often shape the whole plan.
Why Year 10
Fourteen is a good age for this challenge. The girls are old enough to understand a refugee’s story and to feel it. They are also young enough to still want their mums beside them.
Three things make Year 10 the right choice:
- Maturity and capability. The girls can take in hard stories, follow safety instructions and look after each other.
- A turning point. Many girls this age begin to pull away from their mums and to judge them. The day gives them a fresh look at what mothers carry.
- A clear diary. Year 11 has GCSEs. Years 12 and 13 have A-levels and vocational exams. Year 10 is usually free of these clashes.
If your group spans more than one year, you can still use this blueprint. Keep the girls close in age, and check that the content suits the youngest.
Why mothers and daughters
Mums do so much that goes unseen. Daughters often notice only when something goes wrong.
This day lets a girl see her mother in a new light. She watches her mum leave comfort behind, take on something hard and keep going. She may well be proud of her.
It also lets a mum see her daughter’s strength and kindness. Both go home with something to talk about.
Muslim mothers are sometimes pictured as fragile or passive. This day shows otherwise. The mums are expected to work, and they are trusted to.
The two roles are different on purpose.
- The girls take on a challenge they have prepared for, and they know why.
- The mums are held to a firmer standard, chosen with full knowledge, in the clothes they came in.
- Both are encouraged and supported, and both discover that the other is stronger than they thought.
That is also a small picture of displacement, where mothers carry more than anyone should and children grow up fast.
Why this cause
Mothers are often at the heart of a refugee family’s journey. They make quick decisions, protect their children and keep hope alive. They do this with little warning and almost no time to prepare.
Our own history holds such women. Hajar, the mother of Prophet Ismail (peace be upon them), searched for water for her child in a barren valley. Her steadiness is remembered every year at Hajj. It is a picture of sabr, or patient perseverance, and of trust in Allah.
The girls will hear present-day stories as well. Refugee women are not only people who suffered. They are people with skills, families and futures.
Why a challenge
It is easy to feel sorry for refugees and then forget. It is harder to forget something you have felt a little in your own body.
The challenge asks the girls and their mums to spend a day walking a few steps in another person’s shoes. It is a small taste only. Nothing here is the same as the real experience, and we say so openly.
Is it right for you now?
This is voluntary, and the timing matters. Before you commit, ask yourselves honestly:
- Do we have enough leaders, with at least one trained first aider?
- Are the girls, and their families, ready for a full day?
- Do we have time to run two briefings and prepare well?
- Are we ready to treat the mums as serious participants, and not as guests?
- Are we ready to keep the mums’ part quiet for several weeks?
If the answer to any is “not yet”, wait. A calm, well-prepared day beats a rushed one.
Sensitivity to personal experience
Some of your families may have lived through displacement, loss or hardship. For them, the stories will not be distant. The talk before the course describes people being forced to flee, so it matters most here.
Speak quietly with the parents beforehand, where you can. Offer any girl or mum the choice to sit out a story or an activity. Nobody should be asked to relive their own past for the group.
If a girl’s mum cannot take part
No girl should miss out because her mum cannot join. A mum may be unwell, working, caring for a baby, or no longer living.
Offer a stand-in. This could be an aunt, grandmother, older sister, family friend or a female teacher or mentor. Agree this privately with the family, and with kindness, well before the briefings.
The stand-in is briefed with the mums, chooses her standard in the same way, keeps the same quiet and travels with her girl like any other supporter.