4. Return

“O children of Adam, take your adornment at every place of prayer.” (Quran 7:31)

The challenge is over. Now the group comes together to eat, to change, to talk and to celebrate. This part moves from hardship to dignity.

It is also the emotional centre of the day. The plain meal reminds everyone of simple gratitude, the change of clothes marks a turning point, and the ceremony honours what they have done.

Sitting down

From 2:15pm, the group returns and sits down together. Offer water first and give people a few minutes to catch their breath. Provide towels or mats so nobody has to sit on wet ground.

Let everyone wash their hands and faces. Check on each person quietly. Anyone who is cold or unwell should be looked after first.

The plain meal

From about 2:30pm, serve a simple, warm meal. Soup, bread, rice, dates and fruit are all good choices. Make sure it meets any dietary needs.

The meal should be plain on purpose. It reminds everyone of how much food matters and how little it needs to be.

Tell everyone it is a time of gratitude. Begin with a short dua and end with thanks.

While you eat, share a few thoughts around the table. The questions below can start things off.

• What is one thing you are grateful for right now?
• Who helped you today?
• What surprised you?

Time to change

From about 3:00pm, everyone changes into clean clothes. This is a ritual, a break between the hardship of the challenge and the reflection that follows.

The bags come off the minibus. The girls and the mums go to private changing areas. The girls change into the clean outfit they packed.

The mums are handed plain abayas and hijabs, gathered by the organisers. Lay them out on a table, folded, in a range of sizes. Each mum takes what fits and what she needs. It echoes how families arriving at a camp are often given donated clothes. It is not a fashion show, nor a punishment.

Make it dignified:

• the clothes are clean, pressed and in good condition;
• a leader says a plain line, such as, “These are donated. Take what you need”;
• there is privacy, spare pins and a mirror;
• nobody comments on what anyone chooses.

Wet clothes go into the bin bags packed that morning. The mums wear their dry underlayers from their own bags.

You may wish to share a short dua for putting on clothes. Please ask a knowledgeable person to check its wording before you use it.

“Praise be to Allah who clothed me with this and provided it for me, without any power or might from myself.” (Hadith, Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

No one should be rushed or made to feel awkward. Girls will notice the mums receiving clothes. Say nothing yet. The conversation is the place for that.

When each pair is ready, let them walk back in together. The others can quietly applaud.

The conversation

From about 3:20pm, hold a structured discussion. Seat the group in a circle or in small groups, with a leader in each.

Agree some simple ground rules first:

• listen without interrupting;
• speak for yourself, and use “I”;
• what is said here stays here;
• you may pass at any time.

Then offer questions. Choose a few for each group, and do not try to cover every one.

Opening up the surprise

Start with what the girls saw. A leader might say: “Some of you were surprised to see your mums asked to join. Shall we talk about it?”

Offer these questions to the girls:

• What did you feel when you saw your mum asked to leave comfort behind?
• What did you see in her on the course?
• How does it feel to know she chose it?
• What would you like to say to her?

Offer these to the mums:

• What was it like to be called to leave with no time to prepare?
• How did it feel to take on the full challenge?
• What was it like to be handed clothes to wear?
• What did you see in your daughter?
• What would you like to say to her?

Offer these to everyone:

• What did the day teach you about refugees?
• What can we do to help?
• What will you do differently from now on?

A few habits help the conversation:

• Begin with a short silence.
• Let the quiet ones speak first if they wish.
• Do not push anyone to share.
• Thank each person who speaks.

A note on care. Some girls or mums may find the discussion hard, especially if the theme touches their own lives. Have a quiet space ready and a leader who can sit with anyone who needs it.

Prayer

At about 3:50pm, pray together. If Asr has come in, pray it as a group. If not, give thanks and make a dua together.

Keep it short, calm and sincere. Let the girls lead if they wish.

The closing ceremony and prizes

From about 4:05pm, gather everyone for the closing ceremony. It should be warm, brief and dignified, and every pair should leave feeling seen.

Set up the space simply. Have a photographer if families have agreed.

The ceremony follows this order:

1. The lead organiser welcomes everyone, and a leader says a short dua.
2. The lead organiser says a few words about the day and the cause.
3. The instructors say what they saw, naming moments of courage and kindness.
4. Every pair receives a certificate, with one specific thing said about them.
5. Special awards are given, with a short word about each.
6. Daughters and mums may present certificates to each other.
7. The group says thank you to the instructors, drivers and helpers.
8. Take a group photograph.
9. End with a closing dua and a practical word about the journey.

The special awards honour qualities, not speed or strength. Here are some ideas.

Follow these simple rules:

• Every pair gets a certificate.
• Each award can go to more than one pair.
• Never give a prize for speed, strength or money raised.
• Make sure every pair is named for something.

Small prizes work well. Think of books, notebooks, small plants or dates, donated where possible.

After the prizes, thank everyone for their time. Remind them of the cause, and of the money raised if you have a figure. Then lead everyone gently towards the minibuses.