2. Assault course

“Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” (Quran 94:6)

This is where the day turns. The girls warm up, the mums prepare quietly, and then everyone hears the call to leave. After that there is no pause.

It is also the first time the girls feel what it is like to have something unchosen asked of them. They see it first through their mums.

Arrival

The group arrives at about 10:00am. Instructors welcome everyone, and a leader shows them the toilets and the meeting point.

The mums are shown to a private space, where they will wait. The girls are taken to the warm-up area. To everyone, including the girls, the mums are supporters who are being looked after.

Keep all the bags on the minibus or in a locked area. Remind everyone that no bags go on the course.

The girls’ warm-up

From about 10:10am, the instructors lead a proper warm-up for the girls. It lasts about twenty minutes.

Keep it purposeful and calm. Cover mobility and pace, how to climb, how to look after a partner and how to ask for a break. The instructor explains the aim of the day in a few plain words.

When the warm-up ends, the girls sit on the ground at the edge of the space and wait quietly.

The mums’ arrival session

At the same time, from about 10:10am, the mums have a session of their own, out of sight of the girls. It lasts about thirty minutes. The mums’ leader and a venue instructor run it, and it is calm, adult and focused.

Work through it in this order.

1. Welcome. A short dua, and a word of thanks.
2. Safety briefing. The instructor covers the course, the clothing, cold and water, and the “Stop” rule.
3. A short warm-up. Joints, shoulders, hips and legs. It is quick and practical, because going cold into a hard course is how people get hurt.
4. Core points. A refresher from the briefing: why they are here, what the girls know and how to behave. Remind them of the standard they chose.
5. Confirm each choice. Ask each mum quietly to confirm her standard.
6. The signals. Everyone makes the T signal and says the two words once.
7. The plan. Explain where they will sit and what happens next. Tell them it will move quickly.

Remind the full-challenge mums of the rules once more: every obstacle, or the penalty and on.

Bringing the mums to the group

At about 10:40am, when the girls are settled, the mums’ leader walks the mums across to the group. She gives no explanation. She invites them to sit on the ground at the edge of the group, as supporters who have been asked to listen.

Nobody is asked their opinion. Nobody jokes. The mums sit on the ground in their abayas, and the day has already started to ask something of them.

You can adapt the mechanism to suit your site.

The call to leave

At about 10:45am, a speaker talks to the whole group for about ten minutes. The speaker may be an instructor, a leader or a guest from your charity. A guest with lived experience can be powerful, but agree in advance what they are comfortable sharing, and let them choose.

The speaker talks plainly, in the second person and the present tense. The tone is serious and steady.

Choose two or three of these scenes, and tell them briefly and without graphic detail:

• an army drops leaflets from the sky, telling everyone to leave at once;
• a message arrives from a relative: “Go now. Don’t wait for me”;
• panic spreads through a village as buildings burn and neighbours run;
• the rain is heavy, the hillside moves, and there are minutes to get out.

Take care with the content. Do not name real conflicts, so no family is singled out. Keep a quiet space ready, because some girls or mums may have lived something like this.

At the end, the speaker says words like these:

“This is what we are asking of you — all of you. To put yourself in the shoes of a family forced to make that impossible choice. To leave comfort and safety right now, and journey into the unknown.”

This is the moment the mums’ part is revealed.

The mums’ response

The mums react as they would. They say they are not dressed for it. The speaker or an instructor replies, “That’s the point.”

There is no time for protest. The challenge begins here, as everyone gets up and moves off towards the course. The mums grumble as they go, and keep telling the girls and the leaders that they are not dressed for this. Each time, the answer is the same: “That’s the point.”

Keep it honest. The mums’ reluctance is real, and it is not played for laughs. The girls see their mums resign themselves to it and carry on. Leaders say simply that this is what it is to be told to go without being ready.

A girls’ leader walks close to each group of girls. If a girl is upset, she sits with her.

Starting the course

At about 10:55am, the group reaches the start. Instructors take up their different manners: kind with the girls and the mums in white hijabs, firm with the rest.

Pairs set out together, each person at her own standard. Mothers and daughters encourage one another. Neither is the other’s carer.

On the course

Everyone takes on the same course, at the standard they chose. The table below shows how the two standards differ. The details are for the venue and your risk assessment. The principle is what matters.

Everyone is encouraged, and mums encourage each other and the girls too. Instructors link each obstacle to the theme, for example by calling a wall “a border you cannot cross alone”. Keep the tone serious.

Help is not withheld to be cruel. It is simply not pressed on a full-challenge mum because she is a woman in an abaya. If she asks, she gets it.

Remember Hajar

When Hajar was left in a barren valley with her baby, she did not give up. She ran between two hills, again and again, searching for water. Allah answered her. The well of Zamzam is still with us.

At a rest point, an instructor or leader can tell this story in a few lines. Then ask the pairs to think about the hills and valleys in their own mothers’ lives.

When to stop

You are doing this for good reasons, and nobody should be harmed. Stop or slow down at once if:

• anyone is injured or in real pain;
• anyone is shaking, very pale or breathless;
• a mum or girl is overwhelmed and wants to stop;
• the weather turns unsafe;
• an instructor or leader says so.

Any girl may ask for a break at any time. Any mum may use the T signal and a safe word, and any person may say “Stop”. Stopping is never a failure, and nobody needs to explain.

A quick pause

At about 12:05pm, gather everyone for a short rest and a drink. Take ten minutes. Talk about the course in pairs, then in the whole group.

A few gentle questions can help:

• What was the hardest moment, and what helped?
• What did you notice about your partner?
• How did it feel to be told to start before you were ready?

Then look ahead. The trek is next, and it asks for quiet strength rather than speed.