It might sound counterintuitive, but some of your best participants will be the ones who initially feel reluctant or nervous about taking part. That hesitation often reflects exactly the kind of empathy and self-awareness that makes the challenge meaningful. Don’t write off reluctant participants; learn to recognise and work with their concerns.
Why reluctance can be valuable
It mirrors the refugee experience
Reluctant participants understand something important:
- Refugees don’t choose to leave their homes or face hardship
- Nobody wants to be cold, hungry, and exhausted
- The fear and uncertainty they feel connects to real experiences
- Their discomfort comes from genuine understanding of what’s difficult
It shows self-awareness
People who feel nervous often:
- Understand the real challenges they’ll face
- Take the commitment seriously rather than treating it casually
- Think carefully about their capabilities and limitations
- Bring realistic expectations rather than naive enthusiasm
It creates authentic empathy
Reluctant participants can develop deeper understanding because:
- They experience genuine hesitation and fear
- Their discomfort feels real rather than performative
- They connect emotionally with the idea of unwanted hardship
- They have to overcome internal resistance, building real resilience
Common sources of reluctance
Physical concerns
- “I’m not fit enough for this”
- “I might not be able to keep up with everyone else”
- “What if I get injured or can’t complete it?”
- “I’ve never done anything this challenging before”
Social anxieties
- “I don’t know many people in the group”
- “What if I embarrass myself?”
- “I might slow everyone else down”
- “I’m not sure I’ll fit in”
Practical worries
- “I can’t afford proper equipment”
- “I don’t have time to train properly”
- “What about childcare/work commitments?”
- “I’m worried about the time away from family”
Emotional concerns
- “This sounds really difficult and I don’t like discomfort”
- “I’m scared of failing or giving up”
- “What if I have a breakdown or get overwhelmed?”
- “I don’t know if I’m strong enough mentally”
How to work with reluctance
Acknowledge and validate concerns
- “Your concerns show you understand how challenging this will be”
- “It’s completely normal to feel nervous about something like this”
- “The fact that you’re worried shows you’re taking it seriously”
- “Most people who do this feel exactly the same way beforehand”
Reframe reluctance as preparation
- “Your nervousness means you’ll prepare better than someone who’s overconfident”
- “Understanding the challenges helps you get ready mentally”
- “Your cautious approach will help keep you and others safe”
- “Feeling nervous shows you respect what refugees go through”
Provide specific reassurance
Address each concern directly:
- For fitness worries: explain support systems and modification options
- For social anxiety: introduce them to other participants or organizers
- For practical concerns: help problem-solve solutions
- For emotional fears: share stories of others who felt similar but succeeded
Converting reluctance into motivation
Connect their feelings to the cause
- “The fear you’re feeling right now is a tiny taste of what refugees experience”
- “Your reluctance shows you understand that this represents real hardship”
- “Imagine if this wasn’t optional – how would that change how you feel?”
- “Your nervousness connects you to the vulnerability refugees feel”
Use peer support
- Connect reluctant participants with others who had similar concerns
- Create opportunities for nervous participants to meet committed ones
- Share testimonials from previous reluctant participants who had positive experiences
- Build buddy systems pairing confident and nervous participants
Focus on growth rather than performance
- “This isn’t about being the best – it’s about challenging yourself”
- “Everyone’s starting point is different, and that’s what makes it meaningful”
- “The goal is personal growth, not competition with others”
- “Your effort and intention matter more than your performance”
Supporting reluctant participants
During recruitment
- Give them time to think and decide without pressure
- Provide detailed information so they can make informed choices
- Offer to answer questions or address specific concerns
- Connect them with resources for preparation and training
During preparation
- Check in regularly with encouragement and practical support
- Help them access training resources or equipment
- Include them in group preparation activities
- Address new concerns as they arise
During the event
- Pair them with supportive, encouraging partners
- Provide extra check-ins and emotional support
- Celebrate their progress and efforts publicly
- Be prepared to modify activities if needed while maintaining dignity
When reluctance becomes a problem
Healthy vs unhealthy reluctance
Healthy reluctance involves:
- Realistic concerns about genuine challenges
- Willingness to prepare and try despite fears
- Openness to support and encouragement
- Commitment to the group and cause
Unhealthy reluctance includes:
- Unwillingness to prepare or engage with requirements
- Negativity that undermines others’ enthusiasm
- Unrealistic expectations about accommodations
- Lack of commitment to the shared experience
When to reconsider someone’s participation
If someone:
- Repeatedly expresses doubts about the fundamental purpose
- Shows unwillingness to prepare physically or mentally
- Demands modifications that would undermine the challenge for others
- Creates anxiety or negativity in the group during preparation
The transformation effect
What often happens with reluctant participants
Many reluctant participants discover:
- They’re capable of much more than they thought
- The group support carries them through difficult moments
- Their initial fears were manageable with proper preparation
- The experience creates lasting confidence and resilience
- They become the most enthusiastic advocates for future events
Why reluctant participants make great advocates
- They understand the fears others feel and can address them authentically
- Their transformation story inspires others who feel similarly nervous
- They bring credibility to recruitment efforts
- They demonstrate that the challenge is achievable for ordinary people
Practical strategies
During initial conversations
- Listen to concerns without immediately trying to fix them
- Ask what specific support would help them feel more confident
- Share stories of others who felt similar but had positive experiences
- Give them control over their decision-making timeline
In group settings
- Create safe spaces for people to express concerns
- Normalize nervousness and reluctance in group discussions
- Use reluctant participants’ questions to address others’ unspoken concerns
- Build culture where vulnerability and honesty are valued
Throughout the process
- Regular check-ins with encouragement and practical support
- Flexibility about preparation approaches while maintaining core requirements
- Recognition and celebration of effort over achievement
- Follow-up after the event to reinforce positive aspects of their experience
The bigger picture
Why reluctance serves your cause
Reluctant participants help because:
- They bring authenticity to the refugee connection
- Their genuine struggle creates more meaningful empathy
- They demonstrate that ordinary people can do extraordinary things
- Their transformation inspires continued engagement with refugee support
Building inclusive communities
Working with reluctance helps create:
- Events that welcome different personalities and capabilities
- Communities that support growth rather than just celebrating existing strengths
- Deeper engagement with the serious realities the challenge represents
- More sustainable participation as people grow in confidence
Remember that some of your most meaningful participants will be those who initially felt uncertain about their ability to take part. Your role is to provide the support and encouragement that helps them discover their own strength while respecting their genuine concerns.
Reluctance isn’t something to overcome or dismiss. Rather, it’s something to work with thoughtfully as part of creating authentic, meaningful experiences that change people’s understanding of themselves and their capacity to help others.